jokes.txt

"hack"
"What's the best part of an ISIS joke? The execution."
"Why is it hard to send a telegram to Washington? Because he's dead."
"'The grass is wet,' said Tom after due consideration."
"A good pun is its own reword."
"Where do you get virgin wool from? Real ugly sheep."
"'I have multiple personality disorder,' said Tom, being frank."
"What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."
"Did you hear about the soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas? He's a seasoned veteran now."
"'They had to amputate above the wrist,' said Tom offhandedly."
"A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but you mean your mother."
"I thought my nose was bleeding, but it snot."
"'I'm high as f*ck,' Tom explained bluntly."
"A dyslexic man walks into a bra."
"What is a cowboy's favourite car? Audi."
"'I've graded your test again,' Tom remarked."
"'Thanks for explaining 'plentitude' to me, dude. Means a lot.'"
"My company's firing people with medical conditions. I have a hunch it might be me."
"I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple."
"What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire."
"I had a few jokes about unemployed people but I removed 'em all. None of them worked."
"What's the best part of an ISIS joke? The execution."
"Why is it hard to send a telegram to Washington? Because he's dead."
"'The grass is wet,' said Tom after due consideration."
"A good pun is its own reword."
"Where do you get virgin wool from? Real ugly sheep."
"'I have multiple personality disorder,' said Tom, being frank."
"What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."
"Did you hear about the soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas? He's a seasoned veteran now."
"'They had to amputate above the wrist,' said Tom offhandedly."
"A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but you mean your mother."
"I thought my nose was bleeding, but it snot."
"'I'm high as f*ck,' Tom explained bluntly."
"A dyslexic man walks into a bra."
"What is a cowboy's favourite car? Audi."
"'I've graded your test again,' Tom remarked."
"'Thanks for explaining 'plentitude' to me, dude. Means a lot.'"
"My company's firing people with medical conditions. I have a hunch it might be me."
"I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple."
"What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire."
"I had a few jokes about unemployed people but I removed 'em all. None of them worked."