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facts.txt
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facts.txt
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"Pastafarianism is the only religion based on empirical evidence.",
"In the gospel of the flying spaghetti monster, there are placed numerous holes and blatant lies and exaggerations. These are placed on purpose to test the reader's faith.",
"Pastafarianism is for all that is good and against all that is bad.",
"In heaven, there is a giant beer volcano and a stripper factory.",
"Every Friday is a holiday.",
"Pastafarianism is not a cult, and can be closer compared to boutique religion.",
"The theory that gravity is caused by the flying spaghetti monster pushing us down with his noodly appendages is not dis-proven.",
"Due to the increasing population, the flying spaghetti monster is unable to push us down (gravity) as much as he used to. Due to him not holding us down as much as he used to, the average height increased from five feet three to five feet ten inches for the average male.",
"Pastafarianism believes that scientists should be able to consider supernatural causes as well as natural ones.",
"We have reason to believe that the reason we don't have many witches is due to our forefathers round them up and burned them. However some may still be out there and plotting their revenge. Today's scientists would be helpless against them. Therefore we believe that we need to rethink our methods on cohabitation with witches.",
"There is very little reason to believe that an intelligent creator put all species on earth to serve humankind.",
"Scientists claim that we 95% DNA that is similar to chimpanzees, but this is little compared to pirates. Science has proven that we share more than 99% of our DNA with pirates. This makes it obvious which one of them is our actual ancestors.",
"Pirates are said to be the Flying Spaghetti Monster's chosen, people.",
"Before male nipples were used as a portable weather station, Pirates were able to steer the wind direction and depending on their stiffness. The colder it was outside, the harder the nipples.",
"Goosebumps is a cleverly disguised feature that allowed for better buoyancy. When a Pirate hits cold water, goosebumps appear. This would cause them to float to the surface.",
"Some believe that the appendix is the remnant of an internal pouch used to ferment hard-to-digest plant diets of our ancestors. However we know it was used as a clever pouch to hide a Pirates gold.",
"Many scientists believe that the coccyx (tailbone) proof our ancestors had tails, and we evolved not to need it. However we know it is more likely to be a horn coming out of our ass for fighting purposes!",
"The Flying Spaghetti Monster is very modest. Therefore, he went through a lot of trouble to make it seem like evolution is real. This is to keeping him out of the spotlight.",
"As the number of Pirates goes down, the global average temperature has increased. Thus causing global warming. To combat global warming more of us need to become Pirates!",
"The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is probably the most peaceful religion in the world!",
"If you look into the fossil records, you will find evidence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster all over the world!",
"The church of the flying spaghetti monster has an official website! Try visiting it at spaghettimonster.org",
"We know that the flying spaghetti monster created the universe. What we don't know is if he was careless, cruel, or drunk while doing so.",
"In the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster we do not believe in intelligent design, but we do believe in the more credible theory of unintelligent design.",
"Our creator is admittedly a dumbass.",
"In the Church of the FSM, we believe that in unintelligent design, and believe that the dodo is an example of that.",
"We believe that having wars over who has the better invisible friend (religious warfare) is stupid.",
"The Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn't like disco.",
"The duck-billed platypus is obviously a creation from unintelligent design. Sn intelligent creator would not combine a duck with a muskrat.",
"Supernatural explanations provide irrefutable evidence that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is using his noodly appendages to spread goodness to the true believers.",
"DNA is the building block of life, and has a very strong resemblance to fusilli pasta. This is no coincidence of course.",
"Many students drink beer while in college. This is because the Flying Spaghetti Monster is trying to convert them into Pirates.",
"The Flying Spaghetti Monster created the entire universe. Including you!",
"The flying spaghetti monster used 10 to 100 years to make the universe, in order to make it appear older than it is.",
"Earth was created in 0.062831853 seconds.",
"Humans and dinosaurs lived together around three thousand years ago.",
"Dinosaurs didn't have bones. Fake bones were placed on earth as just a hoax by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.",
"Dinosaurs moved using similar mechanisms as an erection. (Dinosaurs don't have bones)",
"The Flying Spaghetti Monster once exposed the truth to some, and guided them to a life as Pirates. You are invited to join them.",
"Pastafarian Pirates where not bloodthirsty criminal Pirates. Pastafarian Pirates were peaceful and would give candy to children. They also establish Halloween.",
"Noah (from the bible) was a dick who would abuse animals. He often would use the pointiest animals as arrows for his bow to shoot at peaceful Pastafarians. So what if they were drunk?!",
"The great wall of China is suspected to be a tribute to his noodly goodness.",
"The flying spaghetti monster was denied to sign the Declaration of Independence by the founding fathers. This was a mistake.",
"N.A.S.A. got help from the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in order to get the first man to the moon.",
"We do not know what kind of spaghetti the flying spaghetti monster is made out of.",
"The flying spaghetti monster hears all prayers!",
"To increase the odds of your prayers being answered wear pirate regalia!",
"If the Flying Spaghetti Monster offends your religion, that can be fixed by converting to Pastafarianism. Problem solved!",
"Followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster have never started a war founded on religious beliefs. Unlike the followers of most religions.",
"If you're ever in doubt, plundering like a Pirate should help you feel better.",
"When the Flying Spaghetti Monster split the darkness and the light, they named the darkness prime time.",
"The Flying Spaghetti Monster made a beer volcano on the second day as well as the land we find ourselves on.",
"The Flying Spaghetti Monster made all creatures on day 5, and then went on to name that day a holiday. So now every Friday is a holiday!",
"The first 'I'd really rather you didn't' is an ask to not act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing his noodly goodness",
"The second 'I'd really rather you didn't' is that he doesn't want you to use his noodly goodness as a means to oppress, subjugate, or being mean in any way.",
"The third 'I'd really rather you didn't' is that he wants you not to judge anyone based on their looks, how they talk, or any other stupid thing like that.",
"The fourth 'I'd really rather you didn't' is that you should not indulge in conduct that offends yourself. Also go for a walk for a change.",
"The fifth 'I'd really rather you didn't' is you should not challenge the bigoted, misogynist, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat then go after the bigot!",
"The sixth 'I'd really rather you didn't' is that you should not make multimillion-dollar churches in their name.",
"The seventh 'I'd really rather you didn't' is that you should not go around telling people the Flying Spaghetti Monster talks directly to you.",
"The eighth 'I'd really rather you didn't' is that you should let consenting adults do what they wish, even if it's kinky. Just wear a condom.",
"It is believed that Leonardo Da Vinci made the videogame 'Halo'",
"Pastafarianism is the only faith with a God Back Guarantee. Try Pastafarianism for 30 days. If you don't like it, your god will most likely take you back.",
"In New Zealand, Pastafarian representatives are authorized as marriage celebrants!",
"This bot for Pastafarians and those interested in the FSM has over 69 facts including this one! Help me us with new facts at https://ziti.works/FSMBot !",
"Global warming and the decrese in pirate population is not coinsidental. Become a pirate save the world!",
"There is a New Testament (Dinner 2.0) out. It was written in 2018 by our Prophet Violet Johnson. You can find the New Testament at http://ziti.works/NewTestament .",
"We often wonder if the FSMs balls are made of meat or soy or some other concotion. One may never know.",
"We often wonder if the FSMs balls are testi's or ta ta's. One may never know.",
"It is rumored that the founder of the Ziti Sect of our faith has a criminal record. They were arrested for Jaywalking.",
"It is said that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is genderless. A Gender Transcender.",
"To become a Pastafarian one need only declare that our God is the most delicious one.",
"A guy from The FSM Revival Church of Ziti made a lot of facts wich where basically ads i removed them... Nice guy tho!",
"This bot for Pastafarians and those interested in the FSM has over 69 facts including this one! Help me us with new facts at https://ziti.works/FSMBot !",