Cafe Wanker
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URL: http://abovesobelow.com/coffee/

Inspired by feeling like a retard at coffee shops... I would think to myself silently: "I wish I could be smart, and douchey sounding, like my other friends...". Now I just whip out my imaginary 7G iPhone 6 running Android 13.37 and with a flick of my wrist rattle off a sick sounding order as if I were sneezing elegantly (by accident).

Thanks to Drag Dealer: http://code.ovidiu.ch/dragdealer/
For an awesome javascript library :)