So when are we gonna see this baby? When is the momentous event?
Jane's topless.
Why do you think we're getting the sneak preview?
Maybe she's trying to create a buzz.
You know, get some good word of mouth going.
A beautiful woman like you should. You're quite breathtaking.
Face up on her back?
It's a must-lie situation.
I guarantee you've never seen anything quite so objectionable.
Jerry: (To George) Easy big fella.
You mean you were shortchanged.
Yes! I mean, if she thinks that's me she's under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me.
Well, I found this rope and I kept tugging on it, and all these lobsters came up.
You don't understand. This organ, it's very... schizophrenic.
Oh, no, I can't. I'm kosher, we don't eat shellfish.
Wow. You're so pious.
Kramer, you startled me.
I still can't believe Michael finked on Kramer.
I'm swamped.
what am I supposed to do with all this paella?
you don't say.
But he's afraid to fly alone. You know, he is kind of withdrawn.
No, it was spur of the moment.
corned beef.
He's ripping you off.
This will hardly put a dent in my fumigation bill.
It's an orgiastic feast for the senses, a wanton festival of sights, sounds and colors.
Because his moth, you don't buy my raincoat?
To my adoring husband.
Who wouldn't like me in this leotard? I look amazing in this leotard.
Bottle wipe supersedes it.
Can't you switch for another midget?
So now, you're gonna keep going out with her for spite?
Cause I will never forget that flinty voice. It is tattooed in my brain.
He is a male bimbo.
Horning in my rock climbing trip today.
He asked me. - You put him on the spot.
Doctor? He is a podiatrist.
I was merely speaking extemporaneously.
I like your place, it's very unassuming.
George doesn't work, he is bum. That's why he lives with us.
Yeah, dandruff, kasha, mothball, cheap carpeting. It's potpourri, really.
You wanna lug it uptown, it's yours.
I mean, somebody asks me where is Israel, I don't fly off the handle.
You're grounded.
I've never met your sister, but obviously these are no hard-and-fast rules.
Something tells me she's a knockout.
Every muscle she touches just ... oozes...
Nothing confrontational. Just two adults sitting down, trying to clear the air.
I want you to have this job, but of course... sodomy is a prerequisite.
Rest stop supply.
Gino, you've outdone yourself this time. This is the best haircut I've ever had.
If I don't have the job, by the time he comes back, I'm ensconced.
I'd like to have shoehorn hands.
Look at him, he is grotesque. - You think? - Do I think? He is repugnant.
It was a cinch.
Isn't there a better way to spend your twilight years?
I might be old, but I'm spry.
They say they never saw anybody go after balls with such gusto.
The woman is absolutely mesmerizing.
You're really smitten.
I'm on a roll! I'm just willing these great parking spots.
The most important thing is you help with the bris.
Why are all those people milling around my car?
mohel
You know, you should call that off, Elaine. It's a barbaric ritual!
It's been a very trying couple of days around the hospital.
Oh look, a man is flying, a man is flying! And then ... splat.
The damage unfortunately, has marred an otherwise fine automobile, rendering it virtually undrivable.
You greedily, callously want to profit from it?
Listen to me, you quack.
Embedded in the carpet fibers, deep, deep in the shag, broken glass. Bits of broken glass you can never get up.
One more peep, I'll slice you like a smoked sturgeon!
Bologna sandwiches.
I can not have this constant bickering.
Stress is very damaging to the epidermis.
My hands have got to be in tip-top shape.
Keep the television down and the conversation to a minimum.
The apples are mealy, the oranges are dry. I don't what's going on with the papayas!
What the hell is plantain?
God isn't out to get you, George.
She is extremely dainty.
It's nice to see such fine, upstanding women, in gainful employment, Mr. Visaki.
Jerry, this peach is subpar.
I'm gonna have to take a biopsy on this.
I was really percolating.
How about we let bygones be bygones.
This guy's got quite a racket. I take you to dinner, and then drop you off at his apartment.
This is found money. I want to parlay it. I want to make a big score.
He is Okay. In fact, he and Elaine are getting pretty chummy.
We could be tried for murder.
Prognosis... Negative. He is not doing well, the doctor doesn't know what it is. They're baffled.
He is gypping us.
afraid not.
afraid so
Now I have to be real, that's when it all falls apart.
I think I'm better off going one on one.
It's too trendy, no Isabellas.
I talked him into it.
after consummation.
I was trying to climb the robe, Jerry was spotting me.
I beg to differ.
That's a relex. Cleavage, poke, cleavage, poke.
If it had anything at all to do with what you perceived as me leering at your daughter, I really have to take issue with that.
I did not leer.
But between you and me, you would've paid through the nose.
He was dark, disturbed.
Hasta la vista.
he snubbed at me.
I will buy you popcorn and soda and we'll call it even.
George, you're sapping my strength.
Jerry, we're riffing. No, I'm not riffing, I'm ignoring.
I'm getting the hang of it.
It's a crapshoot.
bad-mouth
Now I'm gonna put the kibosh on you.
Where is the rush?
I'm just gonna pop-in. - Good, men love that.
My home is a... shrine to you.
Are you very fussy about your pants?
It's not like spotting a toupee.
diaphragm
I had green light, you jaywalked.
You'll drag me into the sewer with you.
Nothing, I was just giving her the straight dope.
Another couple of coffee with you, she'll wind up in a convent.
KRAMER: (debonair smile) Well, it’d be our little secret.
A car just bashed into a parked car, and sped off, right on my block!
What are you, yellow?
They both smile flirtatiously at each other.
Look, she slammed into a parked car! She took no responsibility for mutilating the property of a stranger, then she sped off like a criminal!
What kind of a sick lowlife would do a thing like that? You know those people, you know they're mentally disturbed.
(Michael throws down his serviette), Michael: You think you're so damn special because you say 'God bless you'?
The intercom buzzes, Jerry walks over and presses the button
Unless, she's one of these multiple sneezers, and he's holding his 'God bless you' in abeyance, until she completes the series.
Don't sell yourself short saying 'God bless you' to every Tom, Dick and Harry in great personal risk.
Robin: Maybe even someone who didn't say 'God bless you'. George: Well, that's a given.
Now you listen to me, suck face! You tell anybody, anything, and I will carve my initials in your brain tissue!
I wasn't going to do anything until you got her all juiced up with your story about having the affair with the matador!
Becky: You have got some nerve! You smash up my car, you don't admit it, and now you want to ask me out on a date?
Kramer is walking toward her door, hair slicked back, with a bouquet of flowers in his hand.
I see a very cheap man holding a sweater trying to get away with something. That's my overview.
You're still here. You're a dynamo.
George: So she starts vaccuming, back and forth, back and forth, her hips swivelling, her breasts, uh... (trying to think of a word)
Jerry: Convulsing?
George: Convulsing?
So we started drinking, and I'll tell you I don't know if it was the alcohol or the ammonia, but the next think I knew she was mopping the floor with me.
Jerry takes out a hankerchief and starts fake-crying in it.
Oh, wait a second, I believe we have a heckler ladies and gentlemen. Hey Dick I don't know what your problem is. It's not my fault you're back on the wagon.
Maybe the dingo ate your baby.
the last time a woman said that to me I wound up apologizing to her.
Every time I pass her desk, I have to plan a little patter.
it'll look like I'm abandoning him because of his condition. I'll be ostracized from the community.
But if I get the sniffles, you better be there.
The woman has my papers you told her she's pretentious?
This guys is probably on a bender.
Jerry gargles? He does it like 6 times a day.
Mutt? I'll wager his parents are more pure than yours.
George got him fired, he squealed on him.
tattletale - I didn't tattle.
flaunting convention.
Tell anyone answers the phone to ask a balding stocky man with glasses.
The chain reaction of calls, this is gonna set off.
cannibalism
pesto
busboy
When I finally see her, I'm like a little groveling worm.
What are you gonna do? Badger a pregnant woman at her own baby shower?
You though you could waltz through the rest of life and never bump into me again, but you were wrong, Jerry!
What do you think, I'm a poor pathetic wretch?
Comm on, That's $182 there, I don't think that's anything to sneeze at.
I gonna slip him a mickey
he might keel over
That one looks like a blowfish.
I'd also like to welcome back our little, shrimpy friend.
He is a holistic.
Every time I come to the building, I'm gonna have to sneak around like a cat burglar.
divine plan (will of God)
You numskulls
how did you get the goop out of the top of the dishwashing liquid? It was like a brand-new nozzle.
Maybe you think we're in cahoots.
Frankly, I prefer the company of nitwits.
I say this with unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality.
The waiter was trembling.
That's good, he'd clunk our heads together like Moe.
They never fumble for the checkbook.
I rest my case.
That's just the way I was brought up.
Tan pants
My brother in law once left a message on this guy's machine, and he blurted out some business information he wasn't suppose to, and it would've cost him $15,000.
I just bumped into him around the corner, what a coincidence.
I don't want to be presumptuous.
It's not bad, it's coming along.