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naf_trivia.yaml
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naf_trivia.yaml
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trivia:
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that the tallest player ever to stride onto
a Blood Bowl field was the legendary Gurk Cloud-Scraper, storm giant half-back
for the Asgard Ravens? Standing as tall as nine men, Gurk played in only one
match before being barred for life for excessive violence.
The shortest player ever was the equally legendary Big Jobo Hairyfeet,
opposing captain of the halfling Greenfield Grasshuggers team in the same
game, whose sudden and quite drastic reduction in height was the main reason
for Gurk's ban! [1st Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that the longest game ever played was finally
abandoned after 19 days when the remaining member of each team killed the
other in a mad scramble for the ball? The game - the human Kishargo Werebears
versus the Darkside Cowboys dark elf team. The final score - 2-2, match
abandoned owing to death of teams. [1st Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that there was once a team of gnomes, the Shortstuff
Scurriers, who first started playing in the Blood Bowl in 2479? The
unfortunate team lost 34 games in a row - their first ever 34 games, in fact
- and promptly disbanded and went home again, taking their ball with them.
[1st Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ according to the rules of the original game, a match
stated with the ball being tossed up between the teams by a hapless referee.
The upshot of this was usually a dead referee, of course, so the practice was
stopped and a kick-off used instead. Now, at least, the referee can stay out
of the way and not get flattened! [1st Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that the longest scoring attempt ever made was 41
leagues, in a game between te Dwarf Warhammerers and the orcish Gouged Eyes
team, by one Stunted Grom Red-Axe? Loaded into a distinctly illegal cannon
in the dwarf End Zone, Grom was fired towards the other end of the pitch,
with every intention of scoring a Touchdown. However, there was far too much
gunpowder in the muzzle and the hapless dwarf was blown half-way across the
kingdom. Luckily Red-Axe managed to cross the Touchdown line - albeit seventy
yards above the ground - so the scoring attempt counted! Unluckily the teams
had to wait four days for the return of their only ball before the game could
restart! [1st Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that in the year 2461 a player for the halfling team,
the Bluebay Crammers scored a Touchdown without his feet ever leaving his own
Starting Zone? Lefty (later known as Stumpy) Boggit was hit by an Ogre from
the opposing Chaos All-Stars team, and flew all the way to the other end of
the field - leaving a pair of small, hairy feet behind him! [1st Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that no halfling team has ever won a championship in
the entire history of the game? So why do they do it, you ask? For the
post-match feast, of course! [1st Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ the limit of 16 players per team was only introduced in
2482. Previously, a team could swap players as often as it wished. The rule
was finally introduced after the deaths of 743 Halflings from the Greenfield
Grasshuggers at the hands of the Asgard Ravens Norse berserker team. [1st Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ according to their unholy religion, the Chaos All-Stars
must cook and eat their coach if they lose a game. If they win, of course,
they’re allowed to eat him raw. [1st Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ the Halfling team, the Stunted Stoutfellows, were once
blessed with good fortune when their opponents, the Chaos All-Stars, failed
to arrive for their match until half-time – by which time the plucky little
guys were only 2-1 down! [1 DZ]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ Skurfrik Stone-Sucker, running back for the
imaginatively named Hobgoblin Team, often turns up for a match several days
before match day. Well, it takes him that long to tie up his boot laces.
[1 DZ]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that there has never, ever been an interesting fact
about a Troglodyte player. Mind you, that's quite an interesting fact, trivia
fans, so perhaps we were wrong. [1 DZ]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that the shortest ever game on record was won by a
team of students from the High Archmage's College of Temporal Magic, though
they were later disqualified. After all, what was the point of their
opponents turning up for the match, if all the wizards were going to do was
hope back in time three days and win the game before the fixture was even
decided? [1 DZ]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ The Craggen Counts, a team from the vampire-infested
Border Principalites, were banned from the league in 2485. Why? Well, when
everyone else was sucking an orange at half-time the Counts were usually
helping themselves to the crowd! [1 DZ]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that bribery is now so common amongst referees that
rules have been introduced concerning where, when and how one can accept a
bribe. The situation has become so bad that the NAF governing body is
considering appointing a second bunch of referees to govern the conduct of
the first lot! [1 DZ]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that merchandising and advertising has become a very
large part of a Blood Bowl players job in recent years. Varag Ghoul-Chewer of
the Orcish Gouged Eye team for example, plugs a mouthwash for gettnig rid of
these really stubborn blood stains and bad breath problems. Meanwhile Morg'th
N'Hthrog, the gigantic Ogre battering ram makes a good living advertising a
firm that makes brick, er, sanitation facilities. Advertisers do find
problems come when the star of your new multi-million gold piece ad campaign
gets pulled to pieces by a pack of werewolves just days before the first ads
are run... [1 DZ]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that someone once marketed a range of Nurgles Rotters
merchandise. Most did alright considering that no one would ever admit to
being a supporter, but not a single one of the replica team shirts were ever
sold. Mind you, do you know anyone who would fit a pus and puce coloured,
eleven armed, three neck-holed shirt, eight meters across? [1 DZ]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ Nurgles Rotters have given away fewer touchdowns than
any other team in the NAF league? It isn't that they have a great defensive
strategy; it's more that their opponents almost never turn up for the game...
Who says Blood Bowl players are stupid? [1 DZ]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ contrary to popular belief and despite frequent and
very persistent rumours, the revolutionary new Astrogranite playing surface
is definitely not made from the bones of defeated Blood Bowl Trophy
finalists. Honest. Well, that’s what they told us. [2nd Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ the impressive collective fan movement known as the
Wave has now been replaced by the Chuck, in which the largest fans in
sequence toss the smallest fans as high into the air as possible! Catching
them again is apparently optional. [2nd Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ possibly the most heroic effort ever was put in by
Evil Gits lineman Karg Stabneck, who managed to crawl 94 paces to score,
despite having both legs torn off by a rampaging Oldheim Ogres player at his
own 6-pace line. [2nd Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that the late Engel "The Exterminator" Von Evilstein
was probably the most violent player ever. This frontline blitzer was often
sent off for illegal use of automatic weaponry. Just before he was killed
during an explosive attempt to wipe out the entire Underworld Creepers team
at one go, he was reckoned to have accounted for an unbelievable 824 players!
[2nd Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ The Scarcrag Snivellers once kidnapped the coach of
rival team, the Lowdown Rats, to discover their play secrets. The Coach held
out for months and eventually the Goblins sent him home only to discover that
he had stolen all the details of the Snivellers’ own special plays! [2nd Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ one of the most notorious Freebooters the NAF has ever
know, Erik “the Dog” Jorgson – who regularly played in lycanthropic form –
went through an uncontrolled metamorphosis while waiting in the dug-out.
After he ate the rest of the subs, Blood Bowl organizers decided to install
cages in all stadium dug-outs. Were-players have complained that this is a
form of discrimination, but there are no plans to change the ruling as yet.
[2nd Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ the sorcerous owner of the now-disbanded Mirkheim
Mages was the unfortunate victim of a cross-time misunderstanding. He
attempted to summon a new coach for his team through a timewarp into the
future, but was unluckily crushed when a single-decker bus fell on him.
[2nd Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ half-orc Uthar Hagg of the Middenheim Marauders once
punched out four referees during a pre-match coin-toss – and was promptly
made Player of the Year by appreciative Marauders fans. [2nd Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ Stengard Wolfbeck of the Bluchen Berserkers was so
rough and wild a player he was regularly sent off during team practice
sessions! [2nd Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ season tickets for Blood Bowl games can cost anything
from 220 gold crowns for a Reikland Reavers cards, to a huge basket of iced
buns for the Halfling Greenfield Grasshuggers team, to three chickens and a
bag of rats for a lifetime of free Scarcrag Snivellers games! [2nd Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that the Broadcasting networks have perfected a
signal-protection device that stops coverage of Blood Bowl games being
pirated by the glass balls of village witch doctors and wisewomen!
Unfortunately they are now being sued by the Clairvoyants' guilds for causing
interference with lines to the astral plane. [2nd Ed.]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ the High Elf team the Dragon Princes, was made up
exclusively of Elf Princes and High Lords, and were so haughty and proud that
they refused to play anyone who was not of equal rank. Consequently they
never got to play anyone at all, and were disbanded after five seasons
without playing a single match!
- >-
__***Did you know***__ Blood Bowl has a growing and very enthusiastic
following in Norsca, which is hardly surprising considering the Norse love of
anything in the slightest bit violent. Norse teams are not renowned for their
subtle tactics, and have been known to forget all about the ball in their
rush to inflict severe and, if possible, crippling damage on the opposition!
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that the heaviest Snotling to play professional Blood
Bowl was two-foot tall Sputum Boilbrain, who weighed in at an astonishing 115
lbs. He was also one of the worst ever Blood Bowl players as he was too heavy
to be thrown far, too slow to be any use on his feet and too fat to live. He
expired the first time he ran to catch the ball while training with the
Lowdown Rats, and is remembered for drawing the first coherent words from the
team’s coach, who later said to him, “Stoopid, useless git.”
- >-
__***Did you know***__ the highest score in a Championship game in 2493 was
the Marauders 7-0 defeat of the Bugman's Best Dwarf team in the Blood Bowl
play-offs. Many blame the defeat on the fact that the Dwarf players had been
sampling the brew after which their team is named (the renowned Dwarf beer
known as Bugman's XXXXXX) before the match started. Consequently most of the
Dwarf players could barely stand up, let alone play Blood Bow!!
- >-
__***Did you know***__ _Spike!_ Magazine's number one All-time Worst Player
Award goes to 'Speccy' McGroan of the Evil Gits - one of those truly
incompetent cretins that Blood Bowl need if it is to retain its prime-time
status! He played for only one season (2488-89) but over the year he managed
to fumble the ball over 30 times, averaging more than two fumbles per match.
Speccy's finest hour, however, was in his final match when he managed to
fumble the ball a record nine times before he was pulled off (and then pulled
apart!) by the Gits head coach.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that Storm Giant Galak Starscraper was a key part in
the experimental 'eye in the sky' telepathic vision system when he carried a
sorcerer on his shoulder who transmitted what he saw to crystal balls and
magic mirrors all over the Old World. The experiment ended in disaster when
the sorcerer fell of Galak's shoulder during a particularly exciting match
and was impaled on the helmet spikes of a passing player.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ Vermink Stink of the Skavenblight Scramblers was
voted ''Most Unpopular Opponent of 2493'' by a panel of Blood Bowl players.
This has less to do with Vermink's skill as a player than with a particularly
unpleasant mutation, which has left him with such severe personal hygiene
problems that most opposing players can't stand to get within 10 feet of him!
- >-
__***Did you know***__ until on-pitch magic-users were banned by the Colleges
of Magic, Hubris Rakarth was infamous for using his self-taught arcane magical
powers during a match. In one game he managed to turn the entire front line
of the Lowdown Rats into giant frogs. Sadly this plan backfired when it turned
out that the frogs were better at Blood Bowl than the players they had
replaced. In another game, Hubris cast what he thought was a temporary growth
spell upon himself, that made him grow to almost eight foot tall. Hubris had
one of his best games ever, but at the end of the match found that the
counter-spell he had learnt didn’t work. Hubris remains eight foot tall to
this day, and now no longer uses magical spells on the pitch.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that Chaos Dwarf Pukka Urgulg was rewarded with the
mutations of obesity, leprous flesh and a particularly pungent noisome
stench. Not only was he promptly voted 'Most Yukky Player' of the year the
readers of _Spike!_ magazine, but he was also fired from his team because
none of the other players would go in the Dug-Out with him! [WD105]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that the most famous Skaven player of all was Tarsh
Surehands. Tarsh had two heads and four arms, features which made him the
leading pass receiver in the league. Sadly, in a crucial wild card game
against the SSSchHtt V'ggUYth snakeman team, a missed pass led to his two
heads having a violent argument and before anyone could stop him he had
strangled himself to death! [WD86]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that Spiky Norman is the 27th regular partner Borg’th
N’hthrog’s has used for his famous ‘Goblin Cannonball’ tactic. What happened
to the other 26? Well, 13 died in the line of duty, 7 retired hurt, 3 ran
away, 2 are presently residing in the Middenheim City Hospital for Crazed
Goblins, and 1 was high-kicked to death by the opposing team’s cheer-leaders…
[WD101]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ the best remembered Troll player of all time was
Rumble-Gut Rockbelly of the now disbanded Badland Baddies? During a game
against the Southside Squids in 2468, Rumble-Gut set the record for the
most Team-Mates eaten in one match by consuming the entire squad, the
coach, all of the cheerleaders, the team mascot, 120 fans and most of the
south stand of the Squids’ arena [WD104]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ Zip the Snotling wanted to play Blood Bowl so much
that he consented to be sewn inside a football by the Chaos All-Stars for
a vital play-off match against the Vynheim Valkyries. At an opportune moment
Zip was hurled down the field. He pushed his legs free and scampered into the
end zone. Sadly, the touchdown was disallowed, it being ruled that a player
must be holding the football, rather than being held in it, to score a
touchdown [WD104]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ the Cheerleaders of the Oldheim Ogres have been banned
from appearing at any future matches after the shockwaves caused by their
leaping up and down resulted in the collapse of the Hobgoblin Team’s recently
rebuilt arena. [WD104]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ Spike Pit Traps came into use after members of the
Lowdown Rats complained to their coach that falling into a Pit Trap just
didn’t hurt enough. “Landed on me ‘ead. Didn’t feel a fing,” they would say.
The coach, who has now faded into deserved obscurity, came up with the idea
of placing spikes at the bottom of the pits just to silence the complaining
players. The Rats went through a lot of substitutes that season… [WD106]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ Handy Slit-Sides, ace catcher for the Low Down Rats,
became so fed-up with hardly ever being thrown a pass that he managed to
arrange a transfer to the Darkside Cowboys, a Dark Elf team. His luck didn't
change, however. Due to an administrative error, the Cowboys mistook Handy
for their new team mascot and ritually sacrificed him before his first game!
[WD105]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ the mutations bestowed on the members of chaotic Blood
Bowl teams are a reward from the foul deities they worship. Unfortunately, a
Chaos god's idea of a great reward can sometimes leave a little to be desired,
as mad Count Viktor von Dead of the Chaos All-Stars discoverd to his cost.
After scoring the winning touchdown in a vital match against the Hobgoblin
Team, the Count was suddenly transformed into a mile-long tapeworm, and then
crushed to death as the Hobgoblin Team's stadium (along with 30,000 fans)
collapsed on his writhing body.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ Azgar Razorspine is the only player to have been sent
off for using a magic item in a Blood Bowl final? The Evil Gits lineman
brought on a magic rope which couldn't be crossed, and laid it along the
edge of the Gits End Zone to prevent their opponents from scoring.
Sadly, as Azgar moved away the rope got caught up in his bootlaces and he
swept his whole team off the pitch before he realized what was going on. Not
surprisingly, the Ref realised the rope was a magic item and sent him off;
in all, Azgar dragged 9,342 fans, 8 linemenm 3 wizards and a cheerleader down
the tunnel to the changing room with him. [WD122]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ The High Seas Surfriders of the Elven Kingdoms League
take so long to get made up for a game that they only manage to attend every
other one. [Stars]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ a look at the win bonuses of the Elfheim Eagles vs
Nurgle's Rotters Blood Bowl XX game shows the different motivations of Blood
Bowl super-stars. The Nurgle boys were on 1,000 Crowns a mutation, plus
exposure to the disease of their choice, while each Eagle was given a
five-year dry-cleaning contract, an exclusive designer hair-style, and a
monogrammed mirror. [Stars]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ The Dwarf Warhammerers secret weapon agains the
Cowboys last year was - a searchlight! They stored so much magical energy
in their orange squash tub it leaked out and lit up the stadium like day!
The unexpected light destroyed the Cowboys throwing game, and even Moravis
Curfew couldn't connect with star Catcher Asperon Thorn. The Warhammerers
made an incredible 15 interceptions and ran away with the game, inflicting
a crushing 3-0 defeat on the Cowboys [Stars]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ The Skaven Scramblers are the only team ever to have
retained the Blood Bowl trophy (well, if you discount the Severed Heads who
just refused to give it back). In 2477 they beat the Marauders 3-1 in a game
that lasted nine hours! Whew! A year later, they were champions again,
beating the Gouged Eye 3-2. An NAF commission ruled out the possibility
that the Scramblers had spent all year at the stadium, rigging it for the
game, while a team of substitutes set about qualifying, but the pitch did
show some peculiarities on the day - mainly a pronounced slope towards the
Eye's End Zone and an abnormal number of bottomless shafts... [Stars]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ The Chaos All-Stars caused one rule change which was
to their advantage. They had the rule about bringing weapons onto the pitch
reworded so that they weren't called 'arms'. Eight limbed 'Spider' Smith was
then allowed to play. [Stars]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ in 2470, following years of disenchantment, several
of the teams competing the Dwarf 'Stuntie' Cup competition threatened to
leave the leagues they were competing in and form a league of their own. The
increase in the throwing game was threatening to end whatever chance of
success they had ever had! The resulting World's Edge Superleague is a
Dwarfs-only League, now trimmed to 12 second-rate teams playing a 22-match
season. Curiously, the throwing game dominates! Those World's Edge fans
just love to see the ball hanging up there while 22 players scramble for
the honor of being the one it lands on! [Stars]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ despite the interest of NAF teams, Morg'th N'hthrog's
kid brother, Grunn'k M'mthrog, might not be destined for the astrogranite at
all, as many other lucrative areas of employment are open to him. It is
rumoured that the Necromancer's Broadcasting Circle CabalVision Guild want
to sign him up as a commentator in a bid to win the franchise back from their
rivals. In addition to having a complete knowledge of how to truly splatter
an opponent, Grunn'k's massive bulk is said to block the other mage's
transmissions! [Stars]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ in Albion, Treemen hold a special place in the
defense-orientated local leagues. In fact, it is not unusual for teams to
have names which show just how close to their Treemen roots they are. There's
Knotinthem Forest, Shuffling Woodsday and Ashton Villains. Certain Chaotic
teams are so opposed to that style of play, that their names carry
anti-Treeman sentiments, such as Burn Lea and Rotsdale. [Stars]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ The Reikland Reavers are reported to have the most
aggressive marketing department in the NAF. They regularly mail 1,000,000
copies fo their newsletter, which - amongst other things - offers its readers
prizes, such as a night out with Zug or a collection of Griff Oberwald's
stitches. The hardest thing the world is to stop them sending you stuff!
The Reavers Digest is one heck of a fan newsletter, sure enough. [Stars]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ the official record for the _Most Players Dismembered
by a Referee_ is held by ex-Reaver's blitzer, Max 'Kneecap'Mittleman?
Kneecap refused to follow the NAF Referees' Guidelines ("Never read 'em 'ave
I?") and dispensed summary justice on the pitch with a pair of pliers, a
branding iron and a chainsaw. (The latter was only used for Arguing the Ref
calls). Kneecap was sacked after three games, but the NAF was forced to
reinstate him due to 'pressure from the fans'. Kneecap claims "I never
frettened 'em, wit' me chainser, honest!" [Comp]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ to put a bit more pep into the Chaos Cup, from this
season on, the losing team captain in each game must present himself to be
eaten - by the Trophy. Blecccch! [Comp]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ not all ex-Blood Bowlers are fortunate enough to be
able to continue their career on the pitch as a Referee. Many players have
been permanently incapacitated by injuries from their playing days and just
can't get by on their meager pension. If you see one of these poor
unfortunates on the street, please give generously. [Comp]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ Evil Knut of the Asgard Ravens is still the holder
of one of the more unlikely NAF records. From 469-2474, over a period of
40 games, he set of 113 traps without sustaining so much as a scratch. In
fact, the Ravens got so used to Knut's good fortune that their opening play
in every game was to have him wander around the pitch setting off spear traps,
opening pits and making the arena safe for his teammates. Knut finally met
his end when the Warhammerers went for broke and mined half of the pitch with
explosives. It wrecked their entire arena, killed 7 of their players and
brought down the wrath of the NAF, but the Warhammerers were still happy
with their choice. "There is no Knut too tough for us to crack," boasted a
spokesmen for their owners. [Comp]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ Skeleton Freebooter Ricardo Ferminelli, once of the
Pergamo Pastas, made it his ambition to play for every NAF league team once
he turned Undead following a five-player gang-up block. Oddly enough, he
claimed to prefer working with live teammates. He made it through the AFC in
5 seasons, then started on the NFC. Just 3 teams short of his goal, he was
tragically buried by a Westside Werewolf. The world is still waiting for him
to reappear. [Comp]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ Hubris Rakarth and Griff Oberwald are among the
highest paid players in the NAF? Apart from basic salaries of about 1,000
Gold Crowns a game, each also draws a substantial income from public
appearances, endorsements and other special payments. However, the best
contract anyone has ever wrangled out of an NAF team is Morg'th N'hthrog's.
It states that he should be paid whatever he wants. [Comp]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ even the loyalty of a Halfling can be dented. The
Marienburg Fishers, an NAF team between 2460-2470, lost 150 games out of 159
played, payed its players just 11 times in those 10 years, saw 94 players
killed and 1,398 injured, bus still kept coming back for more. That is, until
just after the first Touchdown in a game against the All-Stars, when the
players found there were no oranges in the Dug-Out. They quit on the spot.
[Comp]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ half-Orc Blitzer Joachim Goadmalice believed in
training very, very hard. While with the Oldheim Ogres, he caused them more
casualties in one training session than the Ogres had suffered in their ten
previous games. In posthumous honour of his technique, the Ogres renamed
their training park Goadmalice Park because, in the words of team owner Rakan
Gold, "That's where most of him is" [Comp]
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that several big-name teams (including the Raiders and
All-Stars) have offered the Orcish amateur side the 'Evil Eye' large sums of
gold and slaves for the latest Orc sensation Triglak Mulanex (great-great
grandson of the legendary Ramstalon Mulanex).
Mulanex impressed many pundits and teams as he single-handedly knocked the
Elfheim Eagles out of the Blood Bowl last year with a ground shattering
twelve casualties, two touchdowns and breaking Zugs record for "Number of
opponents bitten in a match". Here's hoping we see him on the major fields
soon!
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that the special Charity event held last year for
retired Blood Bowlers was remarkably marred by only one violent incident.
The long bomb contest ended up with a confrontation between Jerimia Kool and
Valen Swift in the finals.
After a month-long war and over 10,000 casualties the armies of Naggaroth and
Ulthuan withdrew from the grassy field where the charity event was taken
place. Sadly, the Halfling cook off competition didn't manage to take place.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that the Witch Elf team 'Deadly Nightshades' own two
remarkable records, not only do they hold the record for most consecutive
games played to a full stadium, they have also never been refused a game.
While the coaches of the opposition may claim that it's because they never
refuse a challenge or are always willing to help out young ladies in need.
We here at the _Did You Know_ office can't help but think it might be because
of those long black boots and revealing uniforms that bring the crowds and
opponents in... Not that we've ever watched a Nightshade game on CabalVision
you understand...
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that the shortest career of a Blood Bowl player was
'Slim' Th'im Tearer at 3.7 seconds for the Chaos All-Stars.
This Chaos Warrior had an unfortunate mutation that gave him more than a
passing resemblance to everyone’s favourite Dragon Warrior - Prince Moranion.
This would have been bad enough, had it not been for some comments the Prince
had made on CabalVision the night before about Morgs personal hygiene and
fashion sense.
So Morg, having seen the 'Prince' enter the All-Stars training ground for his
first practice session with his new team proceeded to get his kicking
techniques up to scratch. With poor Th'ims head.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that this year’s hottest rivalry doesn't appear to be
Morg v Moranion, Raiders v Eye or the Warhammerers v Every Official.. But
Reaver v Reaver as Oberwald v Kehry!
That's right folks! The son of the legendary Harry "The Hammer" Kehry - Joe
Kehry - has been signed for the upcoming season by the Reavers. Could this be
a sign of an aging Oberwald soon to be replaced? Kehry is an awesome up and
coming blitzer much as Oberwald was a decade ago, and with rumours that
Oberwald might still be hurting from that broken ankle he suffered earlier
in the year (and do you remember who caused it trivia fans?) it looks like
Joe Kehry could be getting thrust into the spotlight on his debut against the
Grasshuggers.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that last year’s award for "Strangest reason for a
called off match" went to the Skavenblight Scramblers and the Cripple Peak
Warphunters when the game was called off due to "Excessive Tunneling!". So
many Skaven turned up for the match that the majority had to be turned away
at the gates, so, the Skaven did what any self-respecting mutated,
5-foot-tall rat would do... They dug underground to try and sneak into the
stadium.
When the opening kickoff arrived, the ground underneath was so unstable that
the entire pitch collapsed (inflicting 14 casualties, 8 of which were
fatalities). The Warphunters suffered the worst of the damage, but even the
Scramblers couldn't put the team back together in time for the Blood Bowl
championship
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that previous to his career as a Blood Bowler,
Orcland Raiders blitzer - Killgate Fangpaste was a dentist? Admittedly his
oral hygiene techniques weren't quite the same as those in the empire (a
punch in the mouth to get rid of a loose tooth for example), but his art of
removing peoples teeth extended to the pitch where he currently holds the
Blood Bowl record for "Most teeth removed in a game".
Killgate has recently been offered a sponsorship deal to create his own
brand of toothpaste, filled with bits of broken glass, goblin bones and the
hair from the armpits of a female troll.
We can hardly wait...
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that Hanse Kohl holds the record for most players
sent off in a match with a maximum of 32 players! It happened in a grudge
match between the Gouged Eye and Dwarf Warhammerers in 2474 (Trivia Fans
remember these two faced each other in Blood Bowl XIII in 2473). This record
is made all the more remarkable considering the two teams’ history of
'removing' referees that interfere with the game plan of said teams.
And the reason the ref got away with sending all the players off? The day
before he had been refereeing a Nurgles Rotters vs. Decaying Disorder in the
Putrid Stump Trophy quarter finals and had contracted Nurgles Rot.
Sadly, Hanse never managed to referee another match afterwards as his arms
fell off (then his legs, heads, tentacles....) though he will be known for
his famous post-match interview when he managed to infect fourteen news
reporters and one CabalVision cameraman.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that in the classic 2466 season, a Blood Bowl
semi-final match between the Vynheim Valkyries (now the Norsca Rampagers) and
the Dwarf Warhammerers was abandoned with 12 seconds remaining to be played!
The Valkyries were 2-1 up, with two players left on the field, it looked
inevitable that the Warhammerers would get a tying score and take the game
into overtime, until 'Singed' Whiskers McDaniel of the Warhammerers,
infuriated that two Valkyries remained, brought out a flame thrower onto
the packed ice pitch to finally remove them. Despite pleas from the
Valkyries, Fans, Ref and even his own team, he let rip with a burst of
flame.
As the referee (and Valkyries, fans and Warhammerers) sank to the bottom of
the ice-cold sea, the last thing that could be heard was the signal of an
abandoned game from his whistle.
The NAF had no option but to award the match to the Valkyries, who went on to
face the Champions of Death in the final with many key players at the bottom
of the North Sea. The Champs ran away with the match, easily winning 3-0.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that the Lowdown Ratz experimented in training this
year with a new player. A giant black Warg! The wolf, ate six first team
players, seriously injured another four, crippled the apothecary and ran
away into the swamps with the only ball the Ratz have effectively ending any
chance of a Blood Bowl final appearance... Not that they had a Halfling's
hope in Khorne’s bathroom anyway.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that star player for the Chaos All-Stars - Duke Luthor
Von Hawkfire is currently on his fourth incarnation! He was last killed in
the infamous 2496 blood bath between the All-Stars and the Ziggurats that
ended the careers of 11 players between them, but as anyone knows... You
can't keep a good (evil?) All-Star down for long. And Hawkfire was back for
the next season, lobbing those balls down the field with barely a hint
of rust on that chaos armour.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that in the top twenty for fatalities last year, was
none other than a ball! That's right folks, in a game between the Goblin
team 'Bogswamp Sticks' and the Halfling 'Redcheek Puffers' the ball in play
became a focus point for a Chaos Sorcerer summoning a Blood Thirster daemon
(actually, the ball wasn't intended to become the focal point, he just
misplaced the target by a dozen or so miles).
The ball immediately became possessed by the raging daemon of Khorne and
went at both teams before being banished by a local priest. When the dust
settled, there were 22 players lying face down on the pitch dead by the
daemonic ball of Khorne (ahem).
The All-Stars have so far denied all rumours of them offering a contract to
the ball in hopes that it will become another focal point for the daemon.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that the record for the 'most amount of interceptions
in a single game'was broken last season! In a game between the Wood Elf
'Athelorn Avengers' and the Dwarven 'Firebrand Ingots'. Dwarven blitzer
'Obler Stonewield' ended the match with an amazing 11 interceptions!
The Wood Elves lodged a complaint with the officials about 'tossing heavy
balls', but the referee took the phrase the wrong way and chose to ignore
them. It later transpired that the balls had been filled with small chunks of
iron and Stonewield has been wearing powerful magnets in his armour to
attract the balls as they flew in midair. The record however, stood.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that the 2503 season seen the retirement of one of
Blood Bowls favourite killers? Nobbla Blackwart after 8 great seasons
freebooting between teams finally hung up the chainsaw - Choppy. Choppy was
a great chainsaw having lopped off more heads than any other chainsaw in
history (including a massive 14 decapitations in 2501 against the Icecastle
Wolves).
Whether it was rain, snow, sun or a perfect day, ol' Choppy would always be
guaranteed to start and give the fans something to cheer at. Thank you
Choppy, your services to Blood Bowl will not be forgotten!
Sadly, for the rest of us however, Nobbla Blackwart continues to infest the
Blood Bowl pitch with his new chainsaw 'Rippy'.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that this season’s big-name signing was Half Orc -
Dravik Break'em. He went from the Marauders to the Raiders for a whopping
250,000 gold in the summer after a massive bust-up with the Marauders head
coach.
Break'ems passing talents had become legendary and his ability to pinpoint an
open receiver from 70 paces helped the Marauders to reach the Mithril Spike
Semifinals last year. The Raiders have been desperately needing a chucker
since the retirement of Grishnak Goblinthrottler a few years back.
Of course, where Dravik Break'em goes, so does his wife - the Witch Elf -
Hak'tore'ea Break'em with her.. errr... singing 'talents' that she insists on
subjecting the local populace to. Still, she should find a bunch of Snotlings
in the Orcland swamps a nice audience
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that last year’s award for 'Longest Range Kill' went
to Troll player Burk BigBladder (reportedly Bork BulgeBelly's second cousin).
In a game between the Snotling side - Little Scythes (Burks team) and the
Elven Oslon Whirlwind which took place high on a mountain top.
Just as Burk went to throw one of his teammates 'Grubby Mushbrain', the
Whirlwinds mage summoned a strong wind to disrupt the pass. The Snotling got
caught in the wind and went flying off the pitch and down the mountain
straight into a pitch which was built at the bottom of the mountain.
Sadly, Grubby landed on top of a player that was rushing for a game winning
touchdown, killing both of them instantly.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that there is another war going on to reach the Blood
Bowl final, and this one isn't by the teams! The half time entertainment
was originally scheduled to be sung by Khemrian Mummy 'Ma-rah-ah Khemri',
but she pulled out at the last moment with missing vocal cords. This has
led to a heated debate by many over who should replace her. The top three
choices currently are the former Orcland Raiders cheerleader 'Bite-me Speerz',
the little Skink sensation 'Shakirikiki' and the Ogress that wears little for
the imagination 'Crushtina Argh'you'lehra'.
Whoever eventually gets the halftime show, you can be assured of one thing...
the fans will still riot!
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that this season’s first wiped out team are the
"Summermeadow Satsumas". The wipe out was completed in the half time break
of the match between the Satsumas and the Troll team "Huurrrglagalgaaargh!!"
(well strictly speaking, the teams name is "that sound you make when you're
sick"). Star Troll blocker Bogbref Wartnose, took the phrase "Half time
oranges" too literally and promptly went over and consumed the remaining
Satsuma team members. In an interview with ABC, Bogbref simply said
'Dey werez easy peel...'.
What a guy!
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that the former Skink international 'Diegi Marateenie'
has been attempting to come out of retirement. Sadly, the little Skink wonder
that dazzled us all with his amazing dodges and runs in the 2486 Blood Bowl
season for the Lustria Croakers has almost tripled in weight and now
resembles a little green pudding due to his sugar cane addiction.
Running up huge debts (rumour has it he that he challenged Tzeentch to a game
of dice), Diegi has been forced to recover his career to get his finances
in order. If the Skink can clean up his sugar cane addiction then perhaps
he'll be a surprise star of this season. But will anyone be willing to sign
him for the huge fee he's demanding?
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that the highly anticipated Artic Cragspiders vs.
Norsca Rampagers match was sadly abandoned after only three minutes? As the
Cragspiders received the ball from the opening kickoff and started to make
their way down the pitch, the unthinkable happened as a polar bear ran onto
the icy pitch!
But that wasn't what caused the match to be abandoned.
Quickly following the polar bear in hot (cold?) pursuit was a flock of angry,
angry penguins. As the penguins ran onto the pitch they pecked at everyone
and anyone standing nearby, the only player to come out unscathed was the
Cragspiders star Minotaur Stamphoof Horngore.
When asked afterwards how he was the only player to come out unscathed, a
rather frozen and tooth chattering Stamphoof replied "I just p-p-picked up a
penguin and ate it...". Stamphoof currently leads this seasons Penguin
Fatality list.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that many of today’s top music bands owe Blood Bowl a
thank you for the success of their songs? With tunes such as 'Give It Away
(before he blocks me)' and 'Under the Pitch', the Halfling quartet of the
Slightly Warm Sticky Buns are one of the favourites as is the Backdoor Orcz.
But the all-time greats of the Blood Bowl music world are 'Queek' the famous
Skaven foursome with the ever-eccentric Freaky Mercury as the lead singer,
there top hits include 'Fat Bottomed Ogres’, 'Chain Your Mummies Down' and
the ever fan favourite 'We Will (chuck a) Rock at You'.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that along with the on-field rivalry between the
Marauders and Reavers, the off-field rivalry has stepped up with both
teams signing sponsorship deals with rival 'mobile communication' companies.
The Reavers have signed with Mogreola that believes that using an Ogre to
chuck a snotling holding a message is the way forward in mobile
communications, while the Marauders are now sponsored by Vodorcfone, who have
hedged their bets on having a Black Orc beside you to shout your message to
the recipient.
As a side note, did you also know that Vodorcfone has signed up the former
Greenfield Grasshugger 'Grumble' Luke to be there spokesman, the Halfling
was sacked from the Grasshuggers after his secret gambling habit cost the
Grasshuggers the Sticky Bun trophy against the Bluebay Crammers last year.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that Bob Bifford has been suspended from commentating
the opening game of the season for 'excessive violence'. That's right fans,
he was a guest commentator at the Sticky Bun trophy last year between the
Greenfield Grasshuggers and Bluebay Crammers, he made a passing comment that
the stadium lacked 'a nice pair of tasty buns' and the place erupted!
As the Halflings rioted upon hearing there were no buns for sale, the whole
of Altdorf was shaken to the core as Halfings tore down bakeries and sweet
shops in protest. When the calm settled there were 74 fatalities (including
4 shop keepers and a baker), Bob Bifford was ordered by the NAF to serve a
suspension of the first game and pay the effected shopkeepers a large portion
of his first match pay of the season (which rumours say comes in at a
6-figure sum!).
Bifford only commented that he'd never commentate another Sticky Bun trophy
as he 'couldn't even get me 'ands on a pair of juicy melons after the game'...
Presumably the Halflings got the greengrocers as well.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that a shocking 172 Snotlings were killed on the
pitch last year, an increase of 10% from the previous year. So next time
you take to the turf, remember folks... A Snotlings not for a season,
hopefully you can stick the boot into it at the first game and get a 20%
increase in Snotling fatalities for this year.
- >-
__***Did you know***__ that the all Minotaur team 'The Calves of Chainspleen'
(who for you trivia fans are all directly descended from legendary Minotaur
Madbull Chainspleen) are the only team to be barred from every stadium in the
world! The teams notorious blood greed has caused more fan fatalities and
stadium personnel fatalities than any other single team (including the
Rotters!) in fact the team isn't strictly a team anymore since they ate the
head coach, assistant coaches, apothecary, cheerleaders, rat on a stick
seller, water boy and the team owner after the last match. Still that
hasn't stopped them being the top selling team on Cabalvisions
Pay-Per-Violence broadcasts, a fact no doubt helped by the teams tendency to
devour anything moving in the stadium... and frequently things that aren't.
- >-
As you know, attacking a fallen player is strictly prohibited (for all the
difference it makes..). However certain players with reputations for killing
the opposition have become very frustrated at not being able to claim fallen
skeletons as _Kills For_ and have taken to reducing the bones to powder as
proof of the kill. Of course, it isn't always possible to tell Skeletons
apart, so we can't tell if Tomolandry is still able to piece them together.
As long as he keeps quiet on the subject, NAF statisticians are going to
continue to be in confusion. [Stars]
- >-
Elves pride themselves on doing everything to perfection. They also believe
in acknowledging their achievements. Therefore, Elves make more awards to
more players than any other race. It is possible to win _Most Aesthetic Pass_,
_Best Victory Celebration in the End Zone_, _Best Dressed Hair_ (post-game),
*and* _Best Post-Match Party_ awards, while statistical records include _Most
Kills From A Single Blow_, _Longest Range Kill_, _Heaviest Match Programme_,
and the _Elf Lord's Commendation For Most Spectacular Offensive Magic_ -
an award which was won last year by the hurricane-summoning Gladiators
Magical Co-Ordinator Stormbrew Highcloud [Stars]
- >-
Never mind tempting Jeremiah Kool out of retirement - have you heard of the
new Dark Elf sensation, Meriann Lightning? Various teams have been queuing
up to pay a fortune to the Naggaroth Nightwings after Lightning was the only
player to come through the door in this year's Crush!
Despite the many
offers he has received, it seems no other teams have yet been able to tempt
Meriann away from the Nightwings. He just couldn't refuse Naggaroth's
guarantee of two fatalities every match - even if this means the Naggaroth
cheerleaders become a little short staffed. [Stars]
- >-
__***Can it be true?***__ That a game is still going on a decade after the
kick off in the Underworld League (West) between The Frozen Phantoms and the
Dark Elf side White Bay Arrows. Following a three-day effort to get 90,000
frenzied Arrows fans into a cave barely large enough for the pitch, the game
started with the usual problem for the ethereal Phantoms - they couldn't
touch the ball. However, their spellcasting coach has reputedly made all the
Arrows and their supporters ethereal too! Thus far, no-one has scored, no-one
has been hurt, no-one has even made contact with anyone else... in fact, the
ball deflated after the first year... The game will pause to celebrate is
tenth anniversary later this season. [Stars]
- >-
True connoisseurs of the running game will be devastated to learn that
'Speccy'McGroan has been cut from the team by the Evil Gits for the 2488-89
season.
'Speccy' who achieved a life time best of 9 fumbles against the Creeveland
Crescents last year, was one of those truly incompetent cretins Blood Bowl
needs if it is to retain its prime-time status. 'Speccy' set up some
fantastic scrambles for the ball with over 30 fumbles last year.
Asked about the cut, Evil Gits coach Bargull Whipdeath said "e diserfed it,
so i cutz 'im from 'ere to 'ere". This might just be jovial banter,
however since it is understood by this reporter that the Middenheim Marauders
have paid 20,000 Crowns for 'Speccy' ... to play for the Chaos All-Stars.
[Stars]
- >-
It has often been asked, what do sponsors gain from deals with Blood Bowl
teams? At its simplest, a sponsorship deal may just entitle the sponsors
to free tickets to their team's games - and they can be as valuable as
diamonds if that team makes the playoffs. In other cases, sponsors pin their
hopes on getting extra business through being associated with a successful
team - that was certainly what Wolf Runner Coaches hoped for when they
signed a big deal with the Icecastle Wolves (and what a disappointment they
must have had...).
But most sponsors are just fans of the world's greatest game. As one
businessman put it, "When you've been killing the opposition all week in the
office, it's good to look forward to a night of entertainment you can take
the whole family to". That's why the big-money sponsors will pay thousands
of Crowns, just as the Metalworkers Guild did to the Dwarf Warhammerers this
season. As one spokesman put it, "Maybe we're just as crazy as they are!"
[Stars]
- >-
What chance do the Halflings have of ever fielding a Blood Bowl side? What
chance do they stand of ever even winning their division?
To understand the answer, you need to understand how the NAF league organizes
the fixtures schedule. The 40 teams are grouped into their two conferences
and eight divisions, but they can play any other NAF team during the season.
So long as they complete exactly 16 fixtures (by complete we just mean
arrange... at least twenty games a season are forfeited when one team doesn't
turn up), each team can play anyone it likes so long as it plays each team
in its division at least once (that's each _other_ team, Hobgoblin fans!)
and doesn't play any team more than twice. Actually, this rule is often
waived. As the Dwarf Giants would put it, "when we get to them for the third
time, they ain't the same team".
Fixtures are organized at a pre-season meeting of the owners. Each brings
16 team socks (or other apparel, in the case of Halflings) to be exchanged
for the other teams’ socks in a frantic meeting. As you might expect,
ambitious teams try to arrange a fixture schedule against the weakest
opponents possible, which makes the Hobgoblin Team, the Rats and the three
Halfling teams very popular. Another consideration is the attractiveness of
the opposition; a game against the Cowboys always draws the fans! Bribes,
violence and magic are used to influence the swapping of these socks, and the
meeting often lasts for several days until any manager can leave with
his sixteen opponents mapped out.
After years of receiving weighty bribes (some of which couldn't be eaten),
last season the Stunted Stoutfellows managed to get themselves a fixture
list which included three games against the Hobgoblin Team, two against the
Scarcrag Snivellers and one against the Rats. They won 5 games - matching
the club record - and came fourth in their division! Scale that up three or
four times, and you can see how they could become a mighty force in the
AFC west in three or four decades. [Stars]
- >-
It's an unfortunate part of the game, but there has been a trend recently
for teams to abuse the rules concerning _Violence Towards A Player Who Is
Injured_. As you know, attacking a fallen player is strictly prohibited
(for all the difference it makes...). However certain players with
reputations for killing the opposition have become very frustrated at not
being able to claim fallen skeletons as _Kills For_ and have taken to
reducing the bones to powder as proof of the kill. Grimwold Grimbreath was
sent off last year for spending twenty minutes atomizing a Champions'
Lineman (which led to him increasing his _Referees Killed_ tally by 3 in
protest). Of course, it isn't always possible to tell skeletons apart, so
we can't tell if Tomolandry is still able to piece them together or not. As
long as he keeps quiet on the subject, NAF statisticians are going to
continue to be in confusion. [Stars]
- >-
The Lustria Croakers are, once again, this seasons most sponsored team.
Quite apart from their multi-million deal with Croak-a-cooler, they have
contracts with several running shoe manufacturers, a major car recovery
company (whose catch phrase is "we found a wreck and toad it away") and the
publishers of the banned book Fly Catcher is making the best seller lists
everywhere. [Stars]
- >-
Last season's record for the _Best Individual Single Game Catching (paces)_
was made at the Vynheim Valkyries' Longship Stadium. Unfortunately for the
Valkyries, the record was made by the albino Osgar Vilechuck, star Catcher of
the visiting Gouged Eye, with an amazing 241 paces (the NAF record).
Vilechuck caught 6 bombs of 30 or more paces in this outstanding performance,
particularly impressive as the Longship Stadium was knee-deep in snow.
Valkyries' coach Mad Jake McDead disputed the record, complaining that his
players couldn't see the albino Orc after he stripped off his uniform! The
record stands but, alas, Vilechuck got frostbite waiting for a seventh bomb
and caught only 1 more ball all season. [Stars]
- >-
One of the best sequences of victories in the history of the Asgard Ravens
came during the players strike of 2477. The Ravens won 5 out of 5 during this
period. The owners had tried to draft in extra players, but failed and were
forced to field the Valhalla Chorus - the team's Cheerleaders. As a member of
the Lowdown Rats out it, "We don' mind geddin' a beatin' sumtimz, but does
wimmin was danjerus!"[Stars]
- >-
In 2435, the Dwarf Giants lost 9 great players when they first list a fire
in the dugout to get warm, which melted that side of the pitch then performed
a victorious 'high five' in the End Zone after scoring, which tipped the
floe over.
Norse stadia are now subject to mandatory safety checks. [Stars]
- >-
Which kind of Weres make the best Blood Bowl players? This argument has been
raging for quite a while, and we're not about to disagree with anyone who
holds a strong opinion about it once a month... Strangely, given they are by
far the most numerous type, if you were to say Werewolves you might be
barking up the wrong tree. Though good all-rounders, they can't beat
Werecats for speed or Werebears for strength. Very few Weres make good
Throwers, since they invariably chase after the ball and bring it back once
its thrown; similarly, there have been few good catchers, except those who
have had their teeth removed. [Stars]
- >-
The Old Faith's Weather Forecasting Sub-Committee voted the Chaos All-Stars
the Best Excuse for Errors in Forecasting after the All-Stars'match at
Vynheim had to be postponed when the temperature reached 95o and the pitch
melted. The All-Stars claimed it had nothing to do with them but there were
doubts - despite the forecast for sub-zero temperatures and heavy snow, the
Chaos lads turned up in shorts and shades! [Stars]
- >-
'Dapper' Dagger Longshanks claimed to be the only Chaos Dwarf in history to
like Elves. He even hired an Elven marching band to play at his testimonial,
though these - tragically - disappeared on the way there. Shortly afterwards,
'Dapper' began his retirement, opening a musical instruments shop. Who
says the bad guys never change...? [Stars]
- >-
A large number of current NAF-registered Skaven players come from the same
college - Darkthunder High - which is reputed to be on a huge warp stone
deposit. Exact figures are hard to come by, since head-counts tend to inflate
the figure, but it is known that Darkthunder High spends more on uniforms
than any other college. Of course, it must cost a bundle making alterations
for all those extra arms, legs, tails.. [Stars]
- >-
Snotlings aren't unaware that the other races mock their prowess at Blood Bowl.
Mostly they don't care much. "Dey gets crumped jus' as bad as we duz - an'
dey gots furder ta fall!" But some Snotlings do show a pride in their work,
and do anything they can to improve their play. Smeggy 'The Glider'
Marshjuice had a tailor rig his uniform so that it had wings under the arms,
and he managed to take the ball 156 paces in 8 carries against the Scarcrag
Snivellers.
Sadly, an Elementalist in the pay of the Galadrieth Gladiators ended a
promising career when he called up a strong wind and sent Smeggy on a
tour of all the arenas in Norsca! [Stars]
- >-
'Hungry' Massif Bofine, the Brettonian Minotaur, was the heaviest player
ever in a Blood Bowl final, playing for the Middenheim Marauders in 2469.
Weighing in at a huge 410lbs, he made an immediate impact on the game by
sitting down rather suddenly on the bench in the Dug-Out and catapulting
three team-mates out of the arena. After a slow start, he then began a
sweeping destruction of anything he could find; three more team-mates were
injured, and then he brained the ref with a leg bone he was gnawing when
the official got too close. Finally, his appetite got the better of him
just as the Marauders looked set to score, and he ate the ball - and the
player holding it.
In fact, the only thing he left alone was the